NeighborHoods

Standard

This morning I was on my way home from having breakfast with a friend. I was driving through this residential neighborhood when my car started making these weird spouting noises and started slowing down. I pulled over to the curb and tried to crank my car back up, but nothing happened. It didn’t even make a sound.

So I got out of the car thinking: hey, maybe someone in this neighborhood might be able to help me out.

I shut the car door, stretched and looked up at the sky for a minute. There was this bird. Beautiful and majestic, this bird surely was. As all birds are. This particular bird was very odd though. It wasn’t flying around or anything. It was just sitting up in the sky, frozen.

At least it wasn’t attempting to commit suicide. That’s progress, people.

It wasn’t just the bird that was frozen though. There was no wind blowing, no light breeze. Everything was completely silent, as if the world were frozen, or dead.

When I looked back down from th sky. I noticed that there was a man standing in front of every house in the neighborhood.

These men were all dressed in an identical fasion. They all had on long black robes and low hanging hoods. I honestly don’t know how thy could see with their hoods hanging so low. But oh, they could see. They could see me.

They all started walking towards me slowly; chanting in a language I don’t know.

I’d be lying if I said I weren’t frozen by terror for a second.

Still walking slow, so slow, thy pulled out these short blades. They were bronzen and had engravings in a language I didn’t know on the blade.

They all started to cut themselves and the sweet, sweet, scarlet blood poured from their bodies. So sweet. So scarlet.

I ran back to my car, got in, and turned the key like my life depended on it (because, it probably did). The car finally cranked after the third or fourth turn of the key.

When I looked back up at the road everything was engulfed by this sepia toned fog. So I drove. Well over the speed limit. I definitely did not hit many of the hooded men with my car. That would be like, a crime or something.

When I got out of the fog I looked in my rearview mirror and everything was gone. The men, the houses, the neighborhood, even the road was gone. there was this big hole in the earth where everything had been.

Bless that fog! Bless that saviour of my life! I just want to find it and thank it.

Also, if anyone sees a brownish, sepia toned fog DO NOT APPROACH IT. You probably won’t die, but you will cease to exist.

Today’s Quote of the Day is:

“You cannot look upon my face, for you have no eyes. You are but a shell, ragged and tattered. You think a heart will make you whole. You know nothing. You see nothing. You are nothing. Good.” – Anonymous

Thanks for reading.

The Birds

Standard

THE BIRDS ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE.

THE BIRDS ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE.

THE BIRDS ARE SUFFERING FROM A VERY VIOLENT DEPRESSION.

When I spoke¬†with their shrink therapist he said that I was a skitzo, that birds didn’t have feelings, that birds are unable to talk and therefore are unable to receive counseling from him.

Highly insensitive I think we’ve figured out why the birds are committing suicide. If there own shrink therapist won’t even listen to them and take them seriously, then how are they going to get help.

Birds are majestic creatures, beautiful in every way, and if one tells you he is contemplating suicide, you better take him seriously, Dr. Seulman.

DEPRESSION IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY, DR. SEULMAN.

I’m sorry, I just get so worked up over those birds. Suicide is a monstrous disease and if not taken seriously will spread vastly through the bird community. THIS MOSTER NEEDS TO BE STOPPED.

Okay, moving on then.

Today’s Quote of the Day is:

“Everything is dead. Everything is dead. Oh my God, everything is dead.” – Charlie Bradberry

I hate that Charlie. He’s such a mood killer. I was having a pretty good day too. Ya know, aside from all the bird suicides.